The Marcher

The Marcher

 I march pass this love hoping that my defenses hold.

 My defenses are in place all my walls are up ready for your battle. I’ve lost this war before to unseen foes wanting nothing more to just destroy me… no more. I’ve given my heart and soul to spies and assassins and in the end I’ve lost. I can’t afford to lost again, there is nothing more left of me. The past enemies have cut and bled and left me to die. I cannot let you do the same to me.

I can’t look into your eyes.

I can’t let you near me.

 

I can’t let you crush my walls.

My past is nothing more than endless battles with only one causality, my heart. It hurts and is always in pain and I must be strong not to let the past win again. That is why I’m afraid to let you near and in. You say everything right but I’ve heard it before. You melt my heart when I look into your eyes. Your touch is a weapon that can and will destroy all walls that I have in place. You are a destroyer that is aiming for my heart… Can I let you win?

You say that you won’t hurt me.

You say that you love me.

You say…

In the past wars I’ve heard this all before.

I want to believe you. I don’t want a war in my heart. I want to have no walls and let you hold me and love me as you say you will. The history has shown me not to believe and not to let you in for given myself to you can only lead to pain as it always has before. I’m sorry.

I can’t give myself to you. You are perfect but I know that game and your tactics and what you really want from me. I have more to give you then just my body and I know you can’t and won’t accept that so I’ll march on past. For I know somewhere there is no war and peace will find my heart but it isn’t you.

You are the destroyer but my walls are strong.

So I’ll just march on past.

By

Troy D Bowden

Nov 2, 2012