My Death
I can finally see. God it felt like a dream, but where am I? All I can remember is the screaming of the brakes and a bright flash. Now I’m in this room and all I hear are beeping sounds and faint talking. There is something wrong but I can’t pin point what it is yet. I’m glad I’m alive; it must have been hell for my lover. God please let my lover be ok, please let nothing bad happen to my love. Slowly I’m starting to remember more.
The
road was wet and it was at night my lover was driving holding my hand with the
free arm. I remember laughing over a joke that was said and then terror
happened. My thinking at that point is faded; still all I can remember clearly
is like I said the screaming of the brakes. I can hear soft crying in my beeping room.
What is wrong I wonder? Why can’t I move my eyes? Why can’t I move at all! Oh
God No!
I can’t move!
Oh God No…No…NO!!
Come on you can do it move your foot… nothing. Move your eyes… nothing but I can see out of them. I can see and hear. HELP ME! Please GOD HELP ME! There is something in my mouth I can feel that. I can feel, I can see, I can hear but I can’t move. I can hear a machine beeping again getting faster. Something or someone just pasted my sight. Hello… HELLO!!! Help me please. Please help me I’m alive, I’m not dead. I’m here I’m right here… GOD PLEASE LET SOMEONE HEAR!! This can’t be happening to me. Relax I’m sure they don’t think your dead your just badly hurt from the accident that’s all. I can still hear the soft but faint crying in the room.
Someone in white has
come in.
“There is nothing
more we can do, I’m sorry”
WHAT!
“Are you sure
doctor?”
Oh my love,
finally. I’m sure my love can see that I’m alive and not dead.
“Yes there is no
more activity in the brain. Your love is brain dead”
NO I’M NOT!! I’m
alive…Please I’m alive. My brain is not dead!
Honey please,
please look at me I’m ALIVE! My love looks, oh thank god.
“But I can see
life in those eyes Doctor”
“It’s just the machines
that are given the life that is all. All test show that your lover is brain
dead”
LIKE HELL I AM!!
“Please Doctor
give me some time alone”
“Take all the time
you need”
The Doctor leaves
out of my view.
Please my love; please see that
I’m not dead. I’m alive; I’m not as they say I am. I love you please don’t do
what I think they are asking. I’m scared please I’m scared of dying. Please don’t
end me like this. I wanted to grow old with you to see our children grow and be
happy. I want to be by your side in life and in our death but not like this.
Please see into my eyes there is life there. Oh God please show my love that I’m
alive. Move something… Move anything… nothing is listening to me I’m stuck. I
can see the pain to your eyes. I know you love me and I can tell what you are
thinking… please don’t go there… please for me don’t go there.
The
beeping stops.
NO!...NO!...NO!
MOVE SOMETHING DAM
YOU!
My finger, my
finger I can feel it tapping under the sheet. Look my love… look my finger!
Stop gazing into my eyes and look at my finger. Please stop your crying and
look… I’m alive… I’m alive.
I’m scared God. I’m
scared, I’m dying and this is my death.
My love why?
I love you, and you’ve
killed me.
I
can feel my heart slowing down. I hope my life mattered and that I’ve made
people happy in my life. I hope I’ve touched others and made them a better
person. I hope I’ve made my lover happy for you have made me happy. I can’t go
into the next world being mad at you. You couldn’t hear me or see me move. It’s
not your fault.
It’s hard to think
now… all thoughts of my life are hitting my mind in fast recall. Thoughts of holidays,
families, friends of old and new everything hitting me at once. I’m still
scared.
I can feel you
holding my hand.
…
By
Troy Bowden
Nov 12, 2012
Wow, that's intense. Well written though, you really feel like you are the character. Makes you wonder...
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