My Illusion

My Illusion

You think, but you don’t know. My thought is my reality of you and the physical is just the false imprint of you. I make what is real in my mind, holding you, kissing you. That is the aspect of my greatest dream. Having you in my arms as I close my eyes and nothing else is around us. The physical is gone and we control the world. No noise no worries just us in our own reality.

I’ll take away everything that is wrong. I’ll make you safe… I’ll make you cry. Joy isn’t nothing just you and only you. I don’t want days to go on and shed its false light upon my face without you there to touch it. You’re my life and dream, my thought and my pain. I never want that to end.

As I close my eyes. I see you reach for my arm and as I open them you disappear again into the void that is reality. My reality, my physical… I close my eyes and go into thought and there you are…

Thought is reality, the physical is the illusion.

By

Troy Bowden

Message in a bottle

I'm not on a deserted island but my soul is.

Trying to see you and nothing comes to mind. Have I lost your memory in the sands of time? It's been so long when our bodies were one and now I can't see you. I feel like your lost or that I am. That somehow we have lost the way or the love... I hope it's not that. I pray with my soul that this message finds you and that you understand and feel the same.

My heart is empty my soul is lost. I need you near, I need you to hold, I need you to smile. All those things I've missed and have forgotten and I need them back. Nothing works right in my world unless your a part of it.

I feel like the last person on earth. Alone and isolated with noting to joy and nothing to keep me alive.

Please find this message, please come back to my heart.

I place the cork on. Toss with all my hope and dream to see you again.

Troy D Bowden

June 26, 2013  

The lost Knight

You will never know what you have till you see it slip away. I never knew this new love long but I knew it was special. It was beyond any love felt by the human soul. Passion, lust, the want and need. All were there and so much more. Then it slipped away. Gone from my arms of protection. It was my job to shield you and I failed. My lady I'm sorry. I failed at my job to stop the evil at hand. I failed to fight the enemies away or kill them all. I did not hold my honor to you as I promised. Now you are gone and I am the lost one. I have no justice and faith now. I have no honor that once I held my head to. I'm dishonored to my creed.

I must ride to the shadow end and fight the last demons and pray that I lose. There is no more for this man this once brave man. The time has come. I've lost my love the one that captivated me. The one that showed me that I'm more then just iron. I can`t bear this pain no more. I must fight my demon the last in my battles to face.

To honor you is my death. The one last justice I can give you. The one last promise that I won't break. I will see you again. I can't be the lost knight here alone.

(The sun shines on the iron blade as the tip points to a man chest. The man falls to his knees arms holding the blade high. Silence is all that is heard as the blade moves in. Then drips red from the the other side.)

My Understanding of Love

No one can really know what love is. It isn't something that is a seeing thing. You can't hold it and feel the shape. It isn't something that can be talked to and understood. Then what is it? While for one it goes beyond a feeling. If I had to put words to the saying what is love. I would say it's a consuming force that captivates the living power of your soul. It's the driving push that makes one end their life for the other. Maybe love can't be put into words. Just because everyone will make their own points of love.
I can only use myself into finding an answer. My answer is simple looking at you. You the reason I open my eyes. You the reason there is hope for me. You the look of beauty. You the calmer and the exciter. You are my reason and my understanding on what love is.
Everyone will have their own judgement on what love is and that is the human nature. And you will be my judgement. My reason and understanding on what love is. You are my reason. You are my joy. You are everything. You are my love.

Troy D Bowden
March 12, 2013

My Dreams

Dreams are nothing, nothing without you in them. It's the reason why I goto sleep. Just so I can dream about you. To dream the way you are, beautiful and gorgeous. Oh how I dream to never wake and be without you. You are only in my head but so much do I want you with me. To share in my day and to share my bed. I only have the dreams. That is the only time we have. I never want to wake because I love my dreams. I love you.

By Troy D Bowden March 10, 2013

The Cut

The Cut

                I can still see ourselves walking down Main Street and holding hands. Looking into shops and wanting this and that. Laughing at small little jokes I would toss your way. Those smiles as we just gaze into each other’s eyes. What wonderful and awe inspiring times those were… There was joy, hope and love. The feeling that this was meant, that this was to be and nothing was to come between all those emotions.

                Life plays hateful games and cuts to deep when one is not looking. We could have been happy. We could have been but the game was playing itself out. Your words your untrustworthiness, did you not think I would stay? I wanted more then you could ever know but your cutting just made my wound deeper. And so much blood had already poured onto the floor that it was pointless to go on.

                I know that you loved me. The love isn’t at question. It was the cut. The pain that over and over you didn’t have faith or but you couldn’t.  I just couldn’t go on after so many cuts. I gave so much blood to this relationship and there is nothing left.

I can still see but the cut is too deep.

By

Troy Bowden

Jan 1, 2012