Why does a whisper cry?

Why does a whisper cry?

We held on long in the years of our endless love but time didn't go on.
Hearts broke and pain set in like the blade of a knife.
For what I thought was right didn't match in your eyes.
And feelings were on the table.

We had the passion; the flame of fire love but still something didn’t click in your mind.
Was it the soft whisper that came from the blue, did it scare you away?

With this deep hole of endless miles down, I wonder if it was.
The soft whisper of words spoken so true and from the heart…
I wonder…
Did that scare you away from my arms of love?

I won’t take back what I said for I meant every word out of my mouth and still to this day I do.
You meant the world to me and more.
You were like of a small rose growing in my heart and me holding you there watching you grow bigger and brighter every day, and with every kiss I fell in love more.

But how…how can my whisper cry?

You asked so many times how I felt and now that the whisper is in the wind you knew.
And this is what I get, lost with an empty heart.

To hell with you and so may darkness of the devil travel with you forever.
For my whisper was with love and the words for you were I love you.
And now I see how it is to be.

This is how my whisper cries and it cries still, wishing it didn't come out, wishing it just stayed inside my heart.

Forever now will I fear that I will walk the alone streets in this world traveling without knowing if what I said made you go or was it more.

I’ll still have you, in my heart forever where there is a place made just for you.
And even if we do not see or hold or love anymore there will be forever that place where I can go and you will be there. 
For even if the whisper made you cry. I have not and will not stop loving you.
Will not forever.
But will I ever whisper again…

By

Troy Bowden

My Death

My Death

                I can finally see. God it felt like a dream, but where am I? All I can remember is the screaming of the brakes and a bright flash. Now I’m in this room and all I hear are beeping sounds and faint talking. There is something wrong but I can’t pin point what it is yet. I’m glad I’m alive; it must have been hell for my lover. God please let my lover be ok, please let nothing bad happen to my love. Slowly I’m starting to remember more.

                The road was wet and it was at night my lover was driving holding my hand with the free arm. I remember laughing over a joke that was said and then terror happened. My thinking at that point is faded; still all I can remember clearly is like I said the screaming of the brakes.  I can hear soft crying in my beeping room. What is wrong I wonder? Why can’t I move my eyes? Why can’t I move at all! Oh God No!

I can’t move!

Oh God No…No…NO!!

              Come on you can do it move your foot… nothing. Move your eyes… nothing but I can see out of them. I can see and hear. HELP ME! Please GOD HELP ME! There is something in my mouth I can feel that. I can feel, I can see, I can hear but I can’t move. I can hear a machine beeping again getting faster. Something or someone just pasted my sight. Hello… HELLO!!! Help me please. Please help me I’m alive, I’m not dead. I’m here I’m right here… GOD PLEASE LET SOMEONE HEAR!! This can’t be happening to me. Relax I’m sure they don’t think your dead your just badly hurt from the accident that’s all. I can still hear the soft but faint crying in the room.

 

Someone in white has come in.

“There is nothing more we can do, I’m sorry”

WHAT!

“Are you sure doctor?”

Oh my love, finally. I’m sure my love can see that I’m alive and not dead.

“Yes there is no more activity in the brain. Your love is brain dead”

NO I’M NOT!! I’m alive…Please I’m alive. My brain is not dead!

Honey please, please look at me I’m ALIVE! My love looks, oh thank god.

“But I can see life in those eyes Doctor”

“It’s just the machines that are given the life that is all. All test show that your lover is brain dead”

LIKE HELL I AM!!

“Please Doctor give me some time alone”

“Take all the time you need”

The Doctor leaves out of my view.

 

                Please my love; please see that I’m not dead. I’m alive; I’m not as they say I am. I love you please don’t do what I think they are asking. I’m scared please I’m scared of dying. Please don’t end me like this. I wanted to grow old with you to see our children grow and be happy. I want to be by your side in life and in our death but not like this. Please see into my eyes there is life there. Oh God please show my love that I’m alive. Move something… Move anything… nothing is listening to me I’m stuck. I can see the pain to your eyes. I know you love me and I can tell what you are thinking… please don’t go there… please for me don’t go there.

 The beeping goes faster and I see you gaze to the machine. Yes my love that is my heart I’m making it go faster because I’m alive not dead. No… No don’t cry I’m alive. My lover has so much pain in those eyes. What are you doing? Don’t reach for the machine! No! No! Don’t kill me!

The beeping stops.

NO!...NO!...NO!

MOVE SOMETHING DAM YOU!

 

My finger, my finger I can feel it tapping under the sheet. Look my love… look my finger! Stop gazing into my eyes and look at my finger. Please stop your crying and look… I’m alive… I’m alive.

 

I’m scared God. I’m scared, I’m dying and this is my death.

My love why?

I love you, and you’ve killed me.

 

                I can feel my heart slowing down. I hope my life mattered and that I’ve made people happy in my life. I hope I’ve touched others and made them a better person. I hope I’ve made my lover happy for you have made me happy. I can’t go into the next world being mad at you. You couldn’t hear me or see me move. It’s not your fault.

It’s hard to think now… all thoughts of my life are hitting my mind in fast recall. Thoughts of holidays, families, friends of old and new everything hitting me at once. I’m still scared.

I can feel you holding my hand.

…

By

Troy Bowden

Nov 12, 2012

 

 

 

Silver Rose

Silver Rose

How many times must I cry?

How long will it take for me to see the truth?

The walk of my path, somehow, one day showed me what you really are to me.

Emotions are lost pieces in wrong blocks in my mind so I can't tell what I'm feeling.

Living without you; not knowing of your kiss. Crying without you so I see I'm alone.

I'm empty I'm not one...you... you are the one I need. For I know I'm blind not to see this sooner.

For I know that's why you don't see me now.

But as for some reason I know you'll see these words sometime in life I hope.

And if you read my words please understand that I'm sorry... that I was wrong.

Blinded not to see the love I have for you.

And now I know.

I was cut by the thorn of a silver rose and my blood made it red once again to see how much you mean to me and my soul.

I love you and those words are true and I hold this rose to give to you.

By Troy David Bowden

The Fighter

The Fighter

 Before the Revolution

(The anger builds)

 Rise up, never give in! Never let them bring you down to their hatred. They have an evil understanding of our love. They just think single mindedly and will never know what true love and true caring and true understanding is. They are the evil people of the world the haters of the underworld the walkers of the dead.

 Move on before you feel my sword, my fire blade aiming right for your heart. We will not fall to your way of thinking. It’s our way! Our decision on who we love and give ourselves to. You and your army have zero say in our way of life. March away before the war starts, for we have an army of our own.

Bear watch as the army of the people rise to destroy your ruling of the old. Watch as we crush your rules and laws. Watch as we rise up to your guards to show the world no more!

 

 Our Lexington

(One death heard around the world)

              You fell in my arms because of our love because of the passion we have…dam them. “Dam you! Dam you to hell!” I can’t let your sacrifice go unanswered. Our people are with us my dying love. They saw you fall in my arms and the crying of unjust is sweeping the lands. I will love you always and in my heart, there will never be another. I will fight with all my soul, with all my love. We came to this place to work on peace and understanding but now I see the true intentions.  I draw this sword to stop the single minded. To stop the blockers of true love and I hope I wipe there blood from my sword on a daily basis.

 

Your darkness is red with blood

(To many to kill)

             Cold morning arises; the hooves hit the mud as the march slowly moves forward. A horn blowing in the distance indicating the enemy is near and at hand. Slowly I draw my sword and let it hang knowing that soon blood will run down its steel. Faster the hooves hit the ground and the pace picks up. Faster my heart beats knowing this can be my last stand. My last stand, to show that who I love and who I care for makes and means nothing to the haters. This is my fight my show. I lead this army of the future to show that tyranny can live no more. Faster we go; I can hear the enemy closing in fast. The moving of my steed and rise of the upcoming battle is all the fuel I need to honor my fallen love. I raise my sword for the first victim is in sights. I strike and the blood frees from my enemies neck dropping the soul to the ground. I swing my blade in an arc over my head and down another. Cries scream out of the fallen and I don’t care its revenge leading my blade now.

Darkness covers the sky as the sound of buzzing fills the air. They fly in like needles of death…arrows. Many fall and many more will die, them included. I watch friends of mine fall and give last looks into my eyes. With their fall adds rage and hate, my sword jumps forward driving the blade in the skull of a hater. More of the enemy has fallen, but not enough… not enough for me.

 

Genius

(In the beginning)

 The horn of the many fallen blows and the enemy runs and retreats.  This is not the end but a small victory to show them. To show that we are here and that we are going nowhere.  We are the start of how the world should be.  We are the leaders of the new, the teachers that will raise up our children to accept and respect, to love and never hate. You got a taste of what is the outcome if you cross us and I’m sure there will be many more. I’m not done with you, for you killed my love and that isn’t a pain that I can let go. I’m sure there will be peacekeepers and ones with strong and heavy heads that can lead this new way of life forward but I’m just a fighter. And I will not let what happened to me happen to anyone else. I’ll fight the way you think, I’ll fight for what is right. I’ll stand up to you and your army anywhere that it may bring up its banners of war.

 

I am the fighter.

 By

Troy Bowden

Nov 9, 2012

Finding

Finding

Do I myself know what love is?

Can I try and tell you, that you and only you will I will ever love.

Love for you is all I have but still what is it?

Many of times I would wake up and see you, just looking at you I would get an emotion of what I can't say or I don't know.

This emotion would just fill me as I watch you sleep in my arms.

It would be like something warm would come over me and everyone in the world was gone and it would just be us.

Us the only two left in the world.

Us and nothing else mattered.

I would always smile just watching you and being so careful not to wake you.

You mean so much to me more than the world and you have all my heart and every emotion is for you.

I can't see us not as one.

I can't see us apart.

Is this the answer, did I find what love is?

Yes I did it's you.

By

Troy Bowden

Vows

VOWS

I take you forever to be my wife.

To have and to love.

To give you a kiss when you cry.

And to love you till the day I die.

I will hold you in my arms and say I love you every night.

I will be there for you when you are sad or sick.

And will I treasure you in the night.

I will have you when I'm happy or when I'm not.

I will make love to you in God eyes.

For forever these vows I say yes to you.

Forever will I love you.

I do take your hand for the love to be my wife.

I do take your heart and place it with mine.

I'll make our love last the time.

I vow to you that every breath I take is for you.

That every dream I have you are there.

And I vow to hold you forever and love and care.

For forever these vows I say yes to you.

Forever will I love you.

Forever till death do us part.

For I vow my heart.

By

Troy David Bowden

Passion and Fire

Passion and Fire

In the end I will cry. In the beginning I will fear.

Fear for the love I have and the fire inside.

What will it do? What can happen?

Is the passion a dream or a pain.

I know in my heart I can love you.

Will the passion and fire control me?

Can I say yes to you?

I want you more then a dream and a wish.

Like a walk along a lake at night watching the stars hit the water.

I want you more then my life.

Can I say that. That I want a women more then my life?

The pain of this passion is unknown to anyone.

This is new to my world.

Like a drug was taken by me when I first met you and now this drug is the power over me.

Dreams of dreams and wishes of wishes you are.

And all in all you are the best thing in my life.

Write a book with me and start a new love.

Fill the book with our dreams and wishes.

And each new page will be a new day in love with you.

I can feel Gods hands on us as we walk in love.

A love so strong that walls will not hold it for our love can't be held.

Our love of passion and fire.

By

Troy D Bowden

The Marcher

The Marcher

 I march pass this love hoping that my defenses hold.

 My defenses are in place all my walls are up ready for your battle. I’ve lost this war before to unseen foes wanting nothing more to just destroy me… no more. I’ve given my heart and soul to spies and assassins and in the end I’ve lost. I can’t afford to lost again, there is nothing more left of me. The past enemies have cut and bled and left me to die. I cannot let you do the same to me.

I can’t look into your eyes.

I can’t let you near me.

 

I can’t let you crush my walls.

My past is nothing more than endless battles with only one causality, my heart. It hurts and is always in pain and I must be strong not to let the past win again. That is why I’m afraid to let you near and in. You say everything right but I’ve heard it before. You melt my heart when I look into your eyes. Your touch is a weapon that can and will destroy all walls that I have in place. You are a destroyer that is aiming for my heart… Can I let you win?

You say that you won’t hurt me.

You say that you love me.

You say…

In the past wars I’ve heard this all before.

I want to believe you. I don’t want a war in my heart. I want to have no walls and let you hold me and love me as you say you will. The history has shown me not to believe and not to let you in for given myself to you can only lead to pain as it always has before. I’m sorry.

I can’t give myself to you. You are perfect but I know that game and your tactics and what you really want from me. I have more to give you then just my body and I know you can’t and won’t accept that so I’ll march on past. For I know somewhere there is no war and peace will find my heart but it isn’t you.

You are the destroyer but my walls are strong.

So I’ll just march on past.

By

Troy D Bowden

Nov 2, 2012

Endless Dream

Endless Dream

Does time end in my dreams when I think of you? Magical are the dreams seeing you smile and standing there in love with me.

I may never see you awake but in my dreams you are. Alive and well with beauty of utmost compare. Sometimes I wish I could sleep forever and have you in my arms to hold.

Dreams, endless dreams I wish so we could make love a life time. When I see the day I pray for night and before I dream I ask God not to wake. May someday we'll see in the day and walk hand and hand but for now I'll dream.

I can feel your touch, I can feel your lips, so real does it look so real does it feel, sometimes I ask is it real or a dream.

I never want to wake again, I want a endless dream with you. I need to be with you forever in my dreams.

Dreams, endless dreams no more light do I want to see just you and only you in my endless dream.

By

Troy David Bowden

Rebirth

Rebirth

​Sorry can only be said so many times before two souls travel a different way. I guess that is why I’m writing this, I don’t want you to travel. We have been in many different avenues and many different out comes have come about and still I want to be with you. I know that I’ve not been everything that you have wanted me to be. I’ll be the first to say that is true.

​We fight; we say things that can only bring hate to the feelings of love.

​We lie; lie that can only hurt and cut into the fabrics of our hearts.

I bring this on myself. I’ve started the fights and the screaming. I’m the bringer of angels of death into our minds. I’m the evil and now I can see that inside… Sorry please don’t travel away.

I’m in love with you and I hope you see. See that even after all the fights and evil words that nothing means more to my life then you. Your breath is my oxygen and your heart beat is my pulse. I can’t lose someone as powerful over me as you… I guess that is the reason I pull away… your control and power. I need that and it’s hard to admit but I do.

I need you to protect me.

I need you to guild me.

I need you to heal my broken soul.

I need you to share my dreams.

I need you… No… I need us to love.

What we had is the past and please forgive everything that I’ve done. The past is just that the past and nothing more and I hope you can believe that. It’s over and in my mind it never happened. I’m ready for you and only you. I’m ready for the beginning. I’m ready of the new. I’m ready for us so we can shine out the darkness of the past and light our future.

I’m ready.

I’m ready for the start.

I’m ready for a rebirth of this love with you.

By

Troy D Bowden

Oct 31, 2012

Imagine

IMAGINE

I can feel my hands slowly going down your side. Our lips softly touch and our eyes lock in a moment of time. My heart beats fast and hard all I want is you. Your arms go up as your fashion style falls to the floor. We are locked into each others arms, all the love and passion now shows its true face.

Lust is the power tonight, lust of you making love to me. Your soft body slowly lies upon the bed calling me to come near...calling me to come inside. The world is no more only thoughts of you and I. Your sweet voice saying everything right, your look asking for more.

The feel of love from your body fills my needs and dreams, your soft kiss upon my chest closing my eyes of lust. Feeling and knowing ever part of your body, knowing the good and the bad. Thinking of you pressed to me, thinking of us as one.

Did I just imagine or can this be for real?

The kiss upon your body, the taste of your skin. I don't want to imagine but I want it for the rest of my life. The feel of your legs and your heat going up. Seeing you naked wanting me to make love. This is to much just to imagine but not to much to want.

Feeling you climax on my body, watching the sweat fall from our bodies into a pool of love.

 

By

Troy D Bowden

Behind the Mind

Behind the Mind

"The universe can fit into the mind"

What would be behind my mind? Would it be a world of a different race, a place where the world is one and I'm free to led myself were my soul wants to go. Behind everyone's mind is your world to get away, your time to be alone and your place to hide. Sometimes I'm afraid to know what's behind my own mind for I'm afraid to know what I really am, I guess most people do. Am I a killer or lover a hater or friend or just someone out in the world lost with the outcast?

What lives behind your mind?  A monster of evil or a child of God, or do you want to know? Do you feel unsure on what goes on back there, all the thinking without you knowing? All the planing and you don't even know on what, does this make you scared?

Does it control us like a puppet and play with are dreams or is it making are dreams as we go? No one will no what lies behind are minds and what goes on there. It is just part of us controlling the parts we don't think, holding the world in which we can believe to be. And holding are dreams so we can wish.

By

Troy David Bowden

 

Touch Me

TOUCH ME

Let me feel you near, let me look into your eyes of passion.

Let me kiss those lips of heat and hold you close.

Let me make love to you.

Never will I say no, never will you see me go. Just reach out your hands so I may touch you. I want to feel your skin upon mine. I want to look in those eyes and cry with love. Touch my hand and feel the warmth from it. Look into my eyes and see the passion that I want from you.

I'll love you with the power I have which are my soul and mind, the world will be yours and us will be forever. I know us will be good, I know us will be strong, I know we have the power to stay. I still want your touch I still need your love so give me what I ask and make me smile.

Together in the touch, together in the passion, together forever in love.

Hold the touch and never let it go.

Cry with my soul.

Make love to me, never let me go.

By Troy David Bowden

Power of Love

POWER OF LOVE

In the end I cry, in the beginning I fear.

Fear for the love I have and the fire inside.

What will it do, what can happen?

Is the passion a dream or a pain.

I know in my heart I can love you.

Will the passion and fire control me?

Can I say yes to you?

I want you more then a dream and a wish.

Like a walk along a lake at night watching the stars hit the water.

I want you more then my life.

Can I say that. That I want a women more then my life?

The pain of this passion is unknown to anyone.

This is new in my world.

Like a drug was used on me when I first met you and now this drug is the power over me.

Dreams of dreams and wishes of wishes you are.

And all in all you are the best thing in my life.

Write a book with me and start a new love.

Fill the book with our dreams and wishes.

And each new page will be a new day in love with you.

I can feel Gods hands on us as we walk in love.

The love so strong that walls will not hold it for our love can't be held.

This power has taken control this power of love.

Nothing can stop it only you.

Stop the feeling of not having you and the pain of seeing you die.

Stop the fear inside me and take control of this power.

Win the battle for me for I myself am lost to this over taken.

Will never give in and show that you and I can over come this power.

The power of love the strongest in the world we can win this over.

We can make this work of ourselfs.

We need to, we must.

I can't lose you and I don't even want to think if I did.

Hold this power and make it work for us.

Then we will know how powerful our love is.

How powerful our love is together.

By

Troy David Bowden

One Night

One Night

One night a dream of never wake.

Hold you deep within my soul.

Look into my eyes and let your world fall apart.

Knowing that tonight will never end in my heart.

My soul will be on fire for you.

My love will burn and light will only shine on us.

Showing that we are to be.

One night of a wish, how bad I want it to come true.

Wishing that you would be there.

Running to my arms.

Holding me with no end.

Thanking God that we have this one night in heavens eyes.

Crying knowing that the night will end.

And then smiling knowing I have you right now.

One night.

One pray.

One dream I had of you and I.

Lying on the beach and letting the waves be are song.

Smelling the sea and kissing you.

Putting the world aside just for one night and making us the only two alive.

And making love as heaven gives us a bed of sand.

One night is all one needs.

To show magic in the air.

To take away any pain one may have.

One night in the eyes of love.

The power only two true people can make.

The passion and heat.

The fire in the eyes.

The feeling in the heart.

One night can make this all be.

One night I pray.

One night to never end and for it to last my life time.

One night to put a stop to the world and have us to be.

One last kiss.

One last look.

As the sun will slowly rise again.

And as my dream of one night with you ends.

I ask God for more to come.

More of the love and more of the feeling.

The touch and look.

And the hope that we may come again.

Into each others arms.

And lie on the bed of sand.

And make love all night.

One night is my dream.

One night and you have my heart.

One night and you have me.

We may never know how things are to come.

But in our minds we know that we had the most magical night.

The most passionate of nights.

Now I see the sun and you slowly go.

And my tear falls to the sand.

With that tear is my dream of one...

One last night with you.

My one and truly love...you.

By

 Troy David Bowden

Opening Arms

Opening Arms

Don't be afraid for I am here. The one to hold you when you fear. I'll be by your side walking your road as one. Don't be scared to come into my arms, don't be afraid to cry. Tell me your world let me hear your song let me see the inside of you.

I reach out my arms to you forever to come into and cry. And to stay with me in love. Opening arms and I'll come in when I'm sad and happy. You'll do the same as I for you and our love will grow.

Never will I hold back my feelings for you.

Never will I see different.

Never will I stop loving you as I do now.

Share with me your joy and pain, cry with me when I cry to. Smile with me when I look into your eyes. Love me as my heart does for you. I'll share all my notes of life if only you share back and we'll climb the ladder together.

Forever in my life I'll share everything I have with you and I'll be here with opening arms waiting for you.

By Troy David Bowden

Fall in Love Again

Fall In Love Again

 

Sometime I can look and see the smile I once had of us holding hands.

Running with the wind and not caring about the nothing in today’s world.

Love was free and peace was in our hearts as we talked and loved till the morning came.

I couldn’t help but fall for you the way you look and see things.

The touch of your hand and feel of your lips.

The special look in your eyes as you say you love me.

The emotion of the kiss.

All in all the memories of us together.

 

Time has away I guess of taken two souls apart.

The love slowly goes and new ones show.

The passion gone the spirit cold.

Dreams can only replace a small part of you.

Other loves can only give me a small feeling of you.

 

True love only comes once and for me it was you.

Everything about you and everything you do.

I would die to have you once again in my arms.

And to wake up to you again would place a smile in my heart forever.

 

Time has away I guess of taken two souls apart.

But time can never… never take away my dreams the only last part of you.

 

Will I know to love a woman as I did for you?

Will I know how to kiss, as I would kiss you?

Will I know to care?

Hopefully someday… someday far in the distance of time.

When I can look for you and find you.

When I can fall in love again.

 

By Troy David Bowden

Show of Love

How can I show you love

 

Show of Love

You know in my heart I love you but how can one show love? You are the true part of myself and a gift from God. Only dreams I had of you wishing you would come to me and now they are true. Love is a word so far and wide that it takes up the world and more, so how could I so small to the world show you what I mean?

My heart is yours and I wish I could show you that, my dreams are about you but you don't see them. Every breath I take is another thank you to God that I have you, and a tear from my eyes is another emotion of you.

Love so small of a word of what I'm feeling toward you. Gifts just to show you the outside of what I mean but there is so much more. So much more as in soul, you make me one with myself and at peace. You cover my fears with your arms and your kiss takes away the day. The touch you give me is unlike anything I've ever known. So soft and warm it's like the sun just shining upon my face.

If only I could show you what I mean you would understand but love is the only thing I can come up with. And to show you love is just seeing the things we do everyday, talk, hold hands, make love but so much more I want to show you but I cannot bring them to words, they are inside of me inside my soul. In my heart all my feelings for you are there. Just know that I myself love is just a small word of what I'm feeling for you and forever will it last because I love you and if that is the only way to show it and say it so be it.

By Troy David Bowden

Short Time

Short Time

 

So little time was spent together, so little time was done.

Did our love grow with the few short times we held each other…I don’t know.

But for me I loved a lifetime.

So short of time with so much we had to do and so much more love to give.

You did tell me of the ill and of the time we would have but I didn’t know how much I could fall in love with you in that short time.

The nights on the beach just watching the stars shine in the heaven and talking about nothing new.

The kiss forever that stopped time and how odd it was to know that our minds were on the same key.

I don’t want to think of you dead but more alive then ever before and I know with my heart that you are watching me because I feel your love in the air.

But I can’t stop the pain and sadness of not holding you again, not kissing those lips that are red as a rose and not touching your soft skin as we lie in bed sleeping in each others arms.

I fell in love with you that warm day and I still love you now. I miss you my love…forever.

 

By Troy David Bowden

Blood of the Torment

“Death would be better then this torment”

Blood of the Torment

This is killing me, everyday I see you and there is nothing more of what I want then to hold you. There is no heaven there is no hell nothing matters just you and I can’t have you. It’s pain… Everyday this pain stabs me killing every fiber of my soul. Can’t kiss you can’t hold you can’t make the fires of love with you and still everyday there you are… looking at me. Melting me with those eyes and there is nothing I can do about it.

The torment is never ending and this pain wants nothing more then to scream, to yell, and to say enough is enough! In the normal world we or I know that the torment is to last. I can not live in that world much longer. Can’t breath when your around, can’t think, can’t look at you without the torment coming in.

No peace…

No joy…

No love…

I’m nothing more then a broken shell without having you near and with me and this can’t be. There is an ache a stabbing pain inside my gut wanting you, needing you, and desperately thinking of our bodies naked together… And all I have… All I have is a dream of it!

No person should hold this torment and let it build. No one should feel this stabbing for its killing me. I can almost see the blood this stabbing is causing and nothing can fix it. Why! Oh God why! I must hold on.

If I can dream, then in it we are together that is the hope I must hold on to. There has to be hope, there has to be a way to your heart without all the doors closed.

For if there is no hope then I’m afraid for myself that soon I will feel and see this blood of the torment.

By

Troy D Bowden

Oct, 25, 2012

Realize

Realize

For time doesn't end, it just stands still for you. Nothing moves and nothing talks and everything in my world stops and only you are to be. A magical figure, a magical dream. A figure of love and joy is what you are.

You put a stop to my heart every time I see you and I take a quick breath of air thinking it is my last. A shock to my mind is what you bring me, a wake up call to my soul is what it is. Nothing is like you, and nothing will ever be.

Have you ever seen a picture of nature and you pray to God never to end this moment of time, that is what I say every time our eyes meet. You are the still of the night and the light of the day, a shining star of hope I wish on and pray.

I've never known this to be. I myself falling in love, longing for a kiss and wishing it never to end. I feel like a kid for the first time again, playing in the fields of grass and climbing trees till the setting sun. I'm in love with you, that is true. I now understand that you bring myself together and hold me in place. A place where we can be together. A place where we can be in love.

By Troy David Bowden

Your're Not Real

You’re Not Real

                You don’t know what it is like to love someone and think that it isn’t real. I’ve loved you in my heart for so long that it feels like it has been an endless time. Now I’m with you and in my heart this cannot be, this cannot be real. I’ve wanted nothing more than to love you and be with you that every day I see you feels like a dream. Like I can reach my hand out to you and have it move through your soul.

                It’s like a cloudy head of fog that I can’t get away from. I’ve wished this love, I’ve dreamed of this love and to have it now… while words cannot say or even form in my mouth as to how I feel. You are a dream, not real.

                I haven’t done anything to welcome you in my soul. I haven’t wished enough times to have it come true. I must be dreaming but if so never do I want to wake because this is heaven. This is how it should be, us and nothing else.

                I see you standing there and still I should be thinking that any moment I will wake. If I do wake I know I will cry and I’ll never be the same as I was before. I’ll be a wreck of a broken soul and never will that be fixed. I can say that if this is a dream and nothing is real then for once I wish this dream to come true.

                There comes a moment when you touch me that the fire starts to burn and I feel. This is the moment where I know this is real. When I start to feel when I start to cry when you walk away or when the joy crashes over me as you hold me. The endless love I feel that is how I know you are real…

                For without those emotions then this will only be a dream.

 

BY

Troy D Bowden

Oct 23, 2012

Alone

Alone

 

I can’t love a soul; I can’t have a dream at night.

Sometimes I cry till no end is at hand and sometimes I pray that you are still here.

I still see the days when we were one and nothing else mattered, the love, the passion and heat.

Forever lost in this void of time.

Healing a wound that is at the heart will never be fixed.

I’ve lost all I know and all I ever truly loved.

Broken like glass is our love broken through out time.

Will I go on in my time, will I feel the same as I did with you.

Will I ever stop crying in my heart?

The days are hard without you and the nights long.

I fell in love with you from my heart.

Now the pain and fear the loss of my heart not knowing if I will live or die.

I pray ever night for you back like some dream to come true.

But yet still you are not there when I open my eyes.

And slowly I see that I’m alone again.

 

By

Troy David Bowden

Love of my heart

Love of my heart

One touch in my heart and one touch of my soul.
One dream and it is of you, my lover of my heart.
Will this dream be?
Will I know of the one touch?
Will I know of the kiss to be?
Many of times I've cried wondering of this thought...you and me.
And always I'm sad, sad in my heart.
My dream so real of you and nothing comes to me in the day.
Night is the only time I see you.
And at that moment I can feel you like you are right here,
in my arms.
Days are long and the time doesn't move and it seems like forever
till I sleep.
And as the night comes you are there, standing with open arms for my
heart.
No one will know of my dreams of you.
And sometimes I do wish not to wake again, for that is the only place
I know of you to be.
But if I die then I'll never know if you lived.
And I would have never found the love of my heart.

By

Troy D Bowden

Goodnight Kiss

Goodnight Kiss

I see you at night alone in your bed of dreams.
Nothing is there to warm your soul as the night winds blow.
Nothing not even my heart to take your fears away.
You roll and turn, your arm reaches for nothing and I fall.
I see you cry yourself to sleep in hope that I will come.
Come to clear your eyes of the pain and cold nights.
For I blow a kiss goodnight in the wind and may it carry far.
Far to your lips to shut your eyes and sleep goodnight.
My kiss comes with all the love I have.
My kiss comes from my heart.
And that night when you sleep, I'll be there to warm your heart.

BY

Troy D Bowden

True Love

True Love (a note to the girl)

Tawas till now I saw the fire in your eyes.

Tawas the kiss of joy you gave me that opened my heart to your love.

Now all I dream and see is the special smile you have.

 

I was a lost person before I knew you.

A lost soul just walking the endless road without love.

A man just going around the world having false loves here and there.

 

Now I have you, taking the lost away and making me free.

Free to love you, as a women should be.

Held and cared for, and loved forever.

Touched with every soul and piece of my heart.

Kissed like a angel with fire from my soul.

All this I will give to you.

 

You have taken me away.

Away from the false loves that have tried for my heart.

Away from the pain of not knowing true love.

Away from the fake world I lived in.

 

And now all I have is you.

I am Thankful to God that I do.

Without you, I fear what I would do.

 

I am forever in love with you.

The blood going through my veins, pumping though my heart

Is telling the rest of my soul that you and only you

Will be forever the one.

 

The one to kiss me goodnight.

The one to hold my hand.

The one I say I love you.

The one I will die for.

The one who has all my passion and pain.

 

I fell in love with you the day our eyes met

For the rest of my life- I will keep on loving you the same.

May our souls be forever in love in the skies of heaven.

Not let a day go that I don't say I love you.

Nor let a moment go that I don't kiss your lips and hold you in my arms.

 

I'm in true love with you my love.

I say thank you for opening my eyes to pure love.

 

By

Troy David Bowden

Written Sometime in 1999